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| How Cleo Became a Grief Therapist and Started the Contact Project |
| I got interested in grief therapy when I struggled with my own grieving after Grampa died. I was a doctoral student in clinical psychology then, and barely managed to stick with it in the face of my overwhelming sorrow. I knew Grampa would never want me to quit, so I learned to focus on my positive memories of him to keep me going. It worked, and inspired me to go on for extra training to become a certified grief counselor. Death fascinates me because it’s both mysterious and inevitable. Helping people cope with it has become the focus of my practice. It’s a universal issue, although most people don’t like to think about it. |
| My current approach to grief therapy isn’t the most traditional one, but it’s not unique either. After my first few years in practice, I moved away from steering people through the stages of the grief process. I found that what causes people the most pain is a need to resolve unfinished business with their dead loved ones So I began using a process that helps them work through bottled-up feelings and complete their relationship with the person who has died. |
| Sounds pretty reasonable so far, right? Well here’s where it gets a little unusual—some would say weird or even flaky. The Contact Project is where I help people see and actually talk with dead family members or friends using a process I discovered while trying to reach Grampa after he died. Yes, I know. Sounds kind of wavy-gravy, but that isn’t me. I may not follow mainstream methods, but my project is respectable. It’s not like I’m telling fortunes over the internet or running some 900 psychic hotline scam. |
| Now, to my amazement, the Contact Project is an actual funded project. I have an endowment from a man who was able to contact a family member and wanted to help other people do the same. His first name is Bruce. I can’t tell you his last name because, even though he’s very high on the project, he doesn’t want to be publicly connected to it. Go figure. |
| Anyway, a friend referred Bruce to me for grief therapy not long after I first set up the apparition chamber. His daughter had died from a drug overdose. He was devastated because his relationship with her had been stormy for several years before she died. I’m not sure he knew how much he loved her until she was gone. |
| He was able to reach his daughter. It was only once—but he felt immensely better afterward. He told me they had each acknowledged their mistakes, forgiven each other and made up. He was able to say goodbye to her and feel okay about that. He was almost floating around the room when he told me about it—like he’d gotten free from a heavy chain that had been weighing him down. |
| Bruce’s contact with his daughter changed him. He went from feeling isolated and alone with his bottled-up grief, to being able to remember and talk about the good parts of his relationship with his daughter and the love he felt for her. He wanted other people to have the opportunity to benefit from the process the way he did. So he decided to use some of the fortune he’d made in high-tech businesses to fund the Contact Project. There are some conditions as to who qualifies and what kind of records I keep, but basically it’s my show to run. Which, I admit, is mind-boggling—and a lot of fun. |
| The contact process doesn’t always work, and people rarely get what they expect, but many get some satisfying communication. Most of them can only make contact once or sometimes twice, so it’s not like they have the deceased back for nightly conversation. But overall it helps. |
| The exception to the one-or-two-contacts rule so far is Tyler, who now visits me whenever he gets a notion to do it. He was the first dead person I ever talked to, and oddly he was someone I didn’t even know. He showed up a couple of years ago while I was trying for about the hundredth time to contact Grampa, who had been dead for five years. |
| I’ve learned to take Tyler seriously, even though he has an annoying way of giving me instructions that are mostly confusing. I don’t take well to being told what to do, so I more or less ignored his suggestions in the beginning. But last year I got into a jam I would have avoided if I’d taken his advice, and to my surprise he pretty much got me out of it, so ever since then, I’ve paid attention. |
| Cleopatra (Cleo) Sims |
| Height: 5’4” |
| Weight: 110 |
| Hair: Brown |
| Eyes: Green |
| Description: I am slight, of average height. I wear my hair short to medium length, but never long— I don’t want to encourage any comparisons with Elizabeth Taylor in the Cleopatra movie. I have bangs and my hair is slightly curly. |
| Sign: Scorpio (curious, stubborn, determined) I’m a Scorpio, which describes me well. When I have a question, I keep probing until I find what I’m looking for. |
| Dominant trait: Curiosity. Most people who describe me would probably say I ask too many questions. And I’ve tried to stop asking so many questions because I can see that people find it unnerving. |
| Favorite Activities: I love painting and still have a studio where I can work on it. I also love the active, outdoor Boulder lifestyle, and the restaurants, and the music. I like to go to high-energy places, where there are lots of people around. At the same time, I’m not one of those people who always wants to be in a group. My solitary time in my studio is some of my most precious time. |
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